How We Use Our Words

Words

We string together sounds, assign that sound a specific symbol called a letter, then piece those letters together which creates a word. And that word symbolizes or represents something. Words carry power with them. They can build up or tear down. Hurt or heal. Praise or disgrace. They voice our opinions. They can influence us. And not every word has to have the same meaning to everyone.

They encompass practically every aspect of our lives.  We use them to communicate, inform, direct, teach.

Being a lover of books and quotes, it’s no secret that I love words.

But, believe it or not, there was a time when I did my best to avoid them.

Sticks and Stones

We all know the cliche saying, “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” The precept is words only have as much power over us as we give them. But even the most laid back, nobody-can-tell-me -who-I-am, passive person you’ve ever met, I’m sure could tell you of one time when the remarks of another left them wounded.

Many of us, as unfortunate as it is, don’t know how to block out the opinions of others. And it’s no wonder.

More and more it seems like if you want to succeed in this world, you need the approval of others.

We are bombarded with unrealistic standards we’re expected to reach. Everyone has to look like a beauty queen 24/7.  Everyone is expected to learn the same way, at the same rate; follow the same path. Because if you don’t what good are you? You don’t fit the picture, you don’t play the part and it’s amazing how many people will just pass you up without ever giving you a chance.

So in junior year of high school when people started asking me what I wanted to do with my post high school life, it hurt when others didn’t approve.

“That’s really all you want to do with your life?”, is a question I got asked a lot.

No, those who said that weren’t being mean spirited. But it didn’t really matter. The (assumed) hidden message resounded loud and clear: That’s not good enough for us.

Their words, used to voice their opinions about my life, hurt.

Voices

I stopped talking about my hopes and dreams with anyone who asked. Listening to everything anyone had to say about how my life should go in an effort to please them. I felt like the very fiber of who I was, was being picked apart piece by piece. In essence, I started listening to a million different voices. Trying to catch all the words they threw at me.

I felt lost. Inadequate. Worthless.

I didn’t want to be here or do anything. I couldn’t stand the thought of letting others down. So I did what any reasonable, smart teenager would do; nothing.

Like so many of us, I wasn’t really sure how to let others know how I felt. So I held everything inside.

As you can imagine, that didn’t get me far.

Then one day I needed something, anything to present for a talent show.

I finally decided to sit down at my computer and write whatever came to mind.

The poem about words

The result is as follows:

There are so many voices I allow myself to hear. They speak of the distorted visions of those near. I could care less about their opinion, but I feel forced to listen. Everything they say affects me in a negative way. But I keep listening, letting those voices define me.  What they say is false. But blocking them completely out when there’s so many seems to beyond my capability.

I try to not listen but to no avail. I’m becoming one of their victims, falling under their spell. Before I let them define me, now I’m starting to believe all those negative things. I keep telling myself it’s not true. I keep thinking, “How can I get away from you?”

Soon I know that I’ll stop fighting. I’ll surrender to defeat. How could I let this happen to me? I thought I was strong, but I was wrong. I’m weak; I need another’s help to break free. Who could or would help me?

And then a chorus breaks out. It’s not the same voices as before. They’re almost a whisper, so hard to hear. I strain my ears trying to listen intently. At first, I cannot make out what they’re saying.  But slowly, as I’m listening, the chorus gets louder and louder. Now I know what they’re saying….

“We’re here. Never forget how near we are. When you’re hurting we’ll help heal you. When you need to rant we’ll listen. We won’t judge you. We love you. Please don’t ever stray out of our lives.  Don’t EVER forget who you are in your creator’s eyes.”

And though at first I could not hear them, because of those who were so much louder; that little chorus overpowers every one of those negative voices. Now I realize what I should of all along, when we listen to those who build us up we are strong.

So in the end there are two choices to be made. Listen to those who will ridicule and tear you down every chance they get, or listen to those who magnify who you are in your creator’s eyes.  The choice is yours to make, but believe me when I say, “Where you end up isn’t the same. “

How words changed my paradigm

I finished typing it up about 45 minutes before the talent show started.  When it was my turn to get up and share, I was so nervous. My whole body was visibly shaking.

But as I read out loud what I had written I knew what a pivotal point this was for me.  I finally just knew that no matter what who I am was good enough. And it didn’t matter if others approved or not. I opened my eyes and saw that I wasn’t alone. Others had been cheering me on. I just missed what they were saying because I was too busy listening to the wrong voices. And finally, I was able to be me again. Because if God approves then it didn’t matter if anyone else did.

So words. Those powerful sounds, that we assign a specific symbol called a letter, then piece those letters together to create a meaning for something: I challenge you to use them to build others up.  And remember that God’s opinion is the only one that matters.

If you remember who you are no one will be able to tell you you’re not good enough.

Or at least that’s the way I see it.

-Kay