Lifelines

Change is never easy

Today’s topic: Lifelines. But first, we need to talk about change. They go hand in hand. I promise.

“Nothing in life is more constant than change.”

I don’t know who spoke those words first but if they had remained a thought inside the recesses of their mind that would have been fine by me.

Reading that sentence alone leaves me with chills running up my spine. I shudder to think about all that statement encompasses. If a feeling of melancholy eludes you, I envy you. I wish for your strength and fearlessness.

For some, change is an adventure. Thrilling. Awe-inspiring. What they live for and thrive off of.

I like change too. When I know it’s coming, I’ve chosen it, or when I know the outcome likely will be favorable.

But the sudden life changes, the ones that rock your entire world as you watch it dumped violently upside down, contains spilling… No. But thanks.

I know that somehow, someway, I’ll make it through. Life doesn’t give you much of a choice. And determination is not a quality I personally lack. Choosing to embrace change? Definitely a quality I lack.

It’s as if something in the corner of my mind sounds like a siren; Hold on to what you have. You could lose everything. Learn to be content. 

While I believe in being grateful for what you have and never taking anyone or anything for granted, I’m not naive enough to think my lack of embracing change doesn’t hold me back.

You have to let go

I like my comfort. I like holding onto my lifelines if you will. Lifelines, for me, are the normal everyday things you come to rely on.

A favorite walk. Or that special person/people I talk to every day. The love I feel from the people I’m around. Things that are familiar. Things that I know will never fail to bring my mood up.

But life happens and those things, lifelines, you hold onto and reach for, are no longer readily available. They’re out of reach. And you have to let go.

Of course – if you allow yourself to – you will build new lines. You will find them in something that you connect to. Your old ones will be there too. You have to maintain them, of course. But if you do, they will always be there. It brings me a great deal of comfort when I remember this. That is not the part of change that scares me.

The leaving everything behind part. Starting over. Building. That’s what wracks my mind. Will I be able to make it? Can I really make those new connections? What if the opportunity falls short?

90% of the time the answer is, I don’t know.  I just have to go for it.

Life has a mind of its own

If it had been up to me I would have never lived in 3 different states in 2 years. Which meant finishing my sophomore year in a new place with a friend count of zero and leaving by the time I had a few friends to start my junior year in a new state.  (And no I wasn’t an army brat for those who are wondering.) But life has a mind of its own. It pushes you into new opportunities like it or not.

At the time, that meant leaving behind almost everything. Not exaggerating, I swear. It meant trying to make clean breaks with the past (opening myself up to new possibilities) and moving forward full speed ahead, ready or not.

It also meant being scared as hell. Not knowing how to cope and a lot of hard miserable emotions for a while.

Looking back I can’t explain just how amazing everything turned out. I learned so much during those years. As the miserable times faded, light-flooded in and I was able to realize just how lucky I was to be experiencing numerous cultures, people, types of food, and places.

Those years were a patchwork of bad, good, and  I don’t know.

Making it through wasn’t easy.

Reach out and hold on

Those hard times, those constant changes that I hate so much are exactly the reason I was prepared for my adult life. It allowed me to have the lifelines I do now. And they propel me. They give me something to hold onto when times get rough.

It’s a new year. With new challenges, new opportunities, lots of change.

I challenge you to find those new lifelines. Don’t forget about your olds. Continuously- meticulously- maintain them. But don’t be afraid to let go and explore a bit too.  Find the good among the seemingly bad.

So when you feel like life is trying so hard to beat you down and break you up, you have something to reach out and grab onto. They’re called lifelines for reasons. They’ll sustain you.

-Kay