Up Through The Dirt
Statements
You’re doing great!!
Trudging through life – figuring things out – takes time.
You’ve got big things ahead of you!
I can’t wait to see what you’re gonna do.
You’re going to go far in life!
It’s ok to be frustrated.
It’s ok to cry.
So many kind people in life have said those above-mentioned statements to me. Sometimes because I’m feeling like a failure. Others because I need encouragement. Some have been out of the blue.
And I love those people for their faith in me. For reminding me to take a step back and a deep breath every once in a while.
Through life
The thing is, when you have no idea where you’re going or what you want to do with this life you’ve been given or why it is that some days you just can’t even and hiding in your room for the rest of your life seems like a valid option (I’m not even kidding); those statements can seem like lies. Or a passive attempt to console you at the very least.
I know that when I’ve had someone say any of those listed statements throughout my life, they’ve meant it. At times I lose sight of that.
My cynical self
The cynical point of view for me goes something like…
“You’ve got big things ahead of you!”
Really? Cause right now I don’t know which road I’m taking, if I’m even on a path, and it sure as the sunrises every morning doesn’t feel like I’m making any progress. And what about all the people who tell me I’m dumb? What about all those times I’ve been put down or teased or laughed at or people look at me in disbelief because the path they’d have me on isn’t the one I’m taking?
“It’s ok to cry.”
Ok? So randomly bursting in tears because something has stricken an emotional nerve and sobbing because you feel so awful about how your life is going; that’s normal? Umm…I don’t believe it. And how come every time I start crying people look at me like I’m an alien?
“It’s ok to be frustrated.”
But is it? We’re never supposed to lose our temper. We control it not the other way around. But calmly talking about what’s thrown me through a loop provides no outlet for my anger. Honestly, it makes me even more irritable and I lose my temper.
I could go on but I think you get the point.
Find the positive
When I start thinking like that there are a couple of things I do.
- Reread Albert Einstein’s quote.”Stay away from negative people, they have a problem for every solution.”
- Remember it’s ok to be frustrated. It’s ok to be angry. To unbottle all the emotions you’ve been feeling and if that means crying, then yes it’s ok to cry. It’s not ok to use others as your outlets for the frustrating you feel. It’s not ok to give up because you’ve decided to have a pity party.
- Write. I get a scrap piece of paper and whatever comes to mind, jot it down. Writing helps me get to the core of what’s bothering me.
Flowers grow through dirt
I know that it feels like I’m wandering aimlessly through life. Experiences I’ve had lead me to believe that’s not unique to me or even just young adults. I think that’s a problem everyone encounters. And like I’ve said, others’ optimism at times seems to make things worse.
But I’ve come to learn, those people, the ones who truly mean what they’re saying, are the ones you need to stick closest to. Because they’re the ones who will be there to propel you through your darkest and most hopeless hours. And sometimes not being anywhere is being somewhere.
Think of a flower. The seed is planted, literally covered in soil. I highly doubt that the seed knows where it is. Or the potential it holds. Everywhere it looks is dark and cold and unforgiving. The progress this seed makes day to day is minuscule. Unmeasurable. But eventually the stem this seed has been growing pops up through the dirt, darkness, and cold. Then come the leaves and bloom. And finally the awkward little thing blossoms into something magnificent. Its struggle was not wasted. There was a great purpose for it.
And it’s the same for each one of us.
-Kay
